Sarajevo pt3

I've come and gone with Sarajevo by now. I returned on the 19th of June in Budapest. I've had a long time to think and dread finishing my Sarajevo posts not because I have nothing to say, it is just hard to process it. So with the delays behind me now I return to my thoughts on the trip……

The hostel has been a great way at meeting many different people, the types of people who come to Sarajevo seem to be not the average traveler, because most still hold Sarajevo and the former Yugoslavia countries in a fear and dread.

This night we decided to round up anyone who wasn't doing anything to go out to see the town's nightlife. We started out of the hostel and passed this cafe, which I had passed the many nights before. We glanced in and took a step forwards but then stepped back to take one more glance of the people inside dancing.

It was then that we were waved in before we could continue on so we entered. The room is simple with small tables and filled with mid 30's to 50's year olds. We are invited to join them and dance and before we know it we are having a great time. In the midst of all that is happening I get into a conversation with a man there. He asks the common question, "Where are you from and what do you do?" That leads to where he lives and what he does, he lives in Germany and drives taxis. His real story begins when he tells me, "I was here, I survived, I was wounded, I lived, and I will always come back here." He goes quickly into some things of his experience. At one stage he shows me his wound on his leg.

"We can do anything we want here, because we are free!" he states. We go on to talk for a while about the importance of that thought to him. When it came time for the group and I to move on to a different place I said my goodbye. I apologize for us leaving the party but he just responds, "You can go and that is what is great you Can Go, when you want to … because we are free here…." As I exited my heart left a piece of what I thought I knew about Sarajevo before I had came.

Walking on in our nighttime trip into the city we pass the "Eternal Flame" lit after then end of World War II by Marshall Tito. It was built to show unity and in recent history when it was burning it was just a far away reminder of what it was suppose to be like. As the night ended with our return back to the hostel, I knew I had to do one more thing. The man I had spoken with in the cafe had offered me a drink and I had accepted and I had offered to buy him one also. He told me to buy him one the next time I saw him. So I went back and did just that…

That man hit me somewhere in my conscience. I don't know if I could have survived what happened here, could I be living here and moving on with my life after that. It made me think of my own internal strength. I go on most of the time thinking I am invincible, or that I can take anything, but could I really? I pray that I am never challenged in this way, but for those weeks afterwards those thoughts were constantly upon me.